My previous post about how children are affected by having a parent with a disability generated some insightful and funny comments and it made me realise I wasn’t finished with this topic.
The funniest comments came from muMS-UK ladies. One Mum said her 4 year old told his friend, “Mum has MS and sometimes puts chocolate buttons up her nose” This was because her arm wasn’t working properly after a relapse and she kept missing her mouth! Another described the reaction of her five year old when she heard her stumbling over her words during a conversation with another Mum, “you’ll have to excuse my Mummy, it’s just coz of her MS”
All the comments seemed to suggest our children have a more caring and nurturing side and are more compassionate as a result of our disabilities. Obviously this is hardly scientific research and my findings are purely anecdotal but it’s encouraging all the same. Someone else said, “I’m sitting here with my 26 year old son and he is grateful for having a greater perspective on life. He is not afraid of ‘disability’ he has grown up with it. As his Mum I would say I’ve been able to give more time to listen and therefore have developed a good relationship with both my son and daughter” I think this just about sums it up but it also got me thinking about how “time rich” some of us are due to our disabilities and how this must have a positive effect on our children.
I was sat with my little boy this week helping him with his spelling homework (he’s not even 6 years old yet so seems a bit harsh!) It amazed me how interested and engaged he was and how keen to get them right for the spelling quiz on Friday. I felt so lucky to be able to spend time with him while he carefully sounded out then spelt the words correctly. How do other mothers with high powered careers find time to do this consistently? Do they ever know how interested and engaged their children are and does missing out on this time affect motivation? I will be beside myself by Friday afternoon to see how he did in the quiz but obviously don’t want to push him too hard. At least he knows I’m genuinely interested and have time to help him succeed.
I would welcome any more examples of Mums with disabilities feeling “time rich” or any observations as this is really interesting me at the moment!
budding communications 
‘time-rich’ is great! Both my kids were very successful with their degrees, both came out with firsts. I like to think it is because they chose the right degree course at the right university, and that is down to the time spent discussing while lying on the bed with their less able mum. Proud of them both!
Thanks, you must be very proud of your children
I have MS and work reduced hours…9.30 to 3 Mon through Fri. It means I’m able to drop my kids to school and collect them after. Its me who gets to hear how their day was and all the wee stories kids tell coming outta school. I also availed of the shorter working year and was off with them during the summer. Certainly feel privileged to have had that time with them. I’m applying again for next year and really hoping I get it!
Thanks for your comment. I hope you get it next year too. Sounds like you’ve got the best of both worlds. I wonder if you’d have the same hours without your diagnosis?
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I worry about this all the time (more than my own prognosis frankly), but they are more than ok with it for now. I have a 7 year-old and a 3 year-old.
3 year-old only knows about ‘daddy’s funny leg’ while my 7 year-old understands (and sometimes worries) quite a lot more. When I first explained to him though (guess he was 4?), he spent the next few months telling people I had ‘M&S’… Think I would prefer to have that…
My Husband says it’s not just any old illness but an M&S illness! You have to laugh don’t you!