The Husband and I had an A&E drama the other day that left me cold with fear at what might have happened had the outcome been different.
He announced the other morning, “I think I’ve had a stroke or something” whilst I was losing the daily battle between my daughter and the hairbrush.
“I’d better make you an appointment with the doctor then” I said as my blood ran cold.
He’d woken up with a slightly droopy right hand side to his face and complained of not being able to smile. Not known for his sunny disposition I might not have noticed anything wrong for days had he not mentioned it but I dutifully called the doctor and made him an appointment for later that morning.
While he went off to do the school run I looked up stroke symptoms on google, panic rising as I read the warnings, “Face – the face may have dropped on one side, the person may not be able to smile or their mouth or eye may have dropped”
I ignored the advice to call an ambulance immediately but called the doctor and alarmed the poor receptionist with my hysterical waffling! She calmly advised I get him to the hospital as soon as possible and I pounced on him as soon as he walked in the door, announcing, “Get in the car I’m taking you to hospital now!”
Luckily he agreed and we sped off.
I dropped him at the door to A&E whilst I went off in search of a parking space. The Gods of MS were against me as it was a boiling hot day and I was suddenly desperate for the toilet! I don’t know how I didn’t wet myself but managed to find a space, get the scooter out of the car myself and find a loo just in time.
I found him a while later, looking forlorn and lost on one of those small waiting room chairs. He’d been seen by a nurse who reassured him that his symptoms were in keeping with Bell’s palsy and not the dreaded stroke. We had to wait for confirmation from a doctor but the initial panic was over.
I could have dropped to my knees with relief (had I been able to get up again of course!) I’d been convinced it would be bad news and had started making plans in my head about how on earth I was going to cope without him. He would not be able to cope with disabilities as he never stops.
This got me thinking about what happens to your psyche after a life shattering diagnosis such as MS. Tragedy seems possible after news like that and you cease to think of yourself and those around you as invincible.
Life can change in an instant and you ask yourself “Why not me?” instead of, “It won’t happen to me”
I’d love to hear if other MSers have had similar experiences with how they see the world differently after diagnosis?